Dear Friends,
I know what you’re thinking. And no, I have not decided to be extremely focused and train for a marathon (like everyone else in big cities in 2013). This is more a metaphor for how I’m feeling in life right now.
I have some great news — an agent for The Butterfly Groove, a job that is about something I really care about and is slowing down for the summer, and dating isn’t even going so badly… Yet, I keep having this uneasy feeling of running in place.
For a few years now, I’ve been feeling like I’m running a marathon. Rushing through life when things are busy, and over-analyzing too much when things aren’t. Either way – it’s been a very fast jog in my head and outside of it. I’ve been so focused on getting a literary agent that the rest of my life really came in second place. But now, I feel like since I have representation and my book might find a home sometime soon (please god!), I am close to the finish line. And it’s easier for me to be better at other things in my life and focus more on them because my book is safe, for now. But more than once a day, I envision myself running a marathon and being almost done. At the finish line, I see my future family, my book in published form – I see so much happiness. And I feel physically and emotionally close to this, and I can SEE it. But at the same time, the last half mile is taking oh so very long to sprint.
Perhaps my pace has slowed – for good reason. Perhaps I just couldn’t sprint for that long anymore. Maybe I know what I need to do is turn my sprint into a slow jog, or a fast walk even. Because that half mile I am facing might take a slower pace than it did to find an agent. Maybe everything else requires a slow jog, rather than a sprint. Sometimes when you are ambitious about one thing, you forget that other things take less effort but are equally valuable in the end.
I’m going to go back to a fast walk / slow jog at most and just hope everything falls into place as easily as it does in my mind. Because when I do get there, when I do experience that euphoria of finishing my first marathon, it will be sheer bliss.
Kisses,
Jessica
PS: Follow me on Instagram and Twitter with #obsesswjess! Book news soon to come.
