Intentions Are Everything

Dear Friends,

Is it just me or are you suffering from excuse-overload? I am so tired of hearing people’s excuses. Why do they feel the need to make them? The only reason you should make excuses as far as I’m concerned, is if you’re trying to get out of a workout class with strict cancellation policies and you would otherwise be charged upwards of $40 if you don’t show up… and you have cramps. I cannot come up with any other reason you should make excuses for ways you are feeling or work you didn’t do.

The age old excuse that I HATE is when people are suddenly uninterested in the person and they use excuses as means for avoidance, or better yet, they just stop contacting the person completely – because that’s mature. Leaving the recipient confused and afraid of looking: a) neurotic, b) skeptical and c) not trusting. When in reality, your gut was right. The fact is, it doesn’t matter what the excuse is or how many there can be. This isn’t mad libs – this is your life. If you don’t want to spend one moment with somebody, then don’t, but be honest and use your words and do it fast. Don’t wait a week or a month. My mom taught me never to pussyfoot around (great word) the truth. People are actually receptive to the truth. The reason why there is a misnomer of people not being receptive to the truth is the same excuse people who have been lying for so many years use: they forgot that the truth is actually more comforting than BS and avoidance. Whenever I do not wish to see anyone anymore, I tell them. I don’t care if it’s “After School special” of me – it’s the right thing to do. If you don’t feel a connection, you shouldn’t lead a person on.

This is the first lesson I will teach my sons and daughters. The truth always sets you free. And intentions are everything. If you are a person who has no intentions of becoming a pilot – don’t go to flying school. If you are a person who has no intentions being in a relationship, stop seeing whoever you are seeing. It is mean. And unnecessary and you can buy sex. You can’t buy someone’s feelings for you, or yours for them. But you can buy sex. And porn. So people, go do that and stop dating if you aren’t ready. My whole generation seems to be flying by the seat of their pants all the time. How about setting some goals? How about knowing what you want in life? When did knowing what you want become scary and aggressive and uncool?

I will leave you with this theory: you could fall in love with a tree if you spend enough time with it and it’s willing to let you exclusively lay in its branches. Life is all about intentions. I moved across the country to get a literary agent and now I have one. I also moved here to find the right person to spend my life with and I’ve met a lot of frogs. I’m ready to get off out of the swamp now. Intentions are so frequently thought of as – good vs. bad. But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying have clear intent of what you want from somebody, from a job, from a project, from a workout. And if you aren’t happy with the results, move on. Just make sure to tell the person you’re moving on before you do.

If you read this, and do anything today: just man up – even if you’re a girl, and stop making excuses. Go at life with a clear head, with clear intentions and you have to win. But stop making excuses and stop lying to other people – and more importantly, stop lying to yourself.

Kisses,

Jessica

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