Dear Friends,
I lived through the first (I think?) NYC hurricane. At first, I wasn’t bothered by it. I thought, hurricane on Madison Avenue? Come on, now. Who cares. Mellow out. But half of Manhattan closed up, boarded up and was sealed to the eye of the storm. There’s something about seasonal meltdowns that cause me my own flood of emotions. I’m sure it will get worse tomorrow, as I’ll be “Castaway” in my own tiny apartment especially made for Keebler elves. It sucks for me that I’m normal people-sized. I’m packing the last six months of my life away into boxes, bubble wrap and whatever random Scoop bags I can find. Not for the hurricane, for my upcoming move.
With every hurricane, there came a flood of emotion. Being inside all day with cabin fever, I realized that I am embarking on a new fever in my own life. The fever and passion to strive for something more with 100 percent awareness. I am smarter than when I first moved here. Hell, I weathered a non-scary yet threatening NYC hurricane. I feel the bravery expanding. The storm surge might be over but the flood will continue. Floods are essentially expansions of too much fluid, right? And today, sitting here, it’s not my tears that are flooding, not at all, in fact it’s the flood of possibility I see in my life. Things are looking up for me professionally and with my book, and with friends and dating, and besides the fact that I don’t have an apartment for 3 days from now…I could not ask for more. The storm is over. The calm has set in. We are all okay.
NYC freaking out over this hurricane felt normal to me because it was indicative of my own fears. I’m the girl who starts screaming before the roller coaster begins. I cry before the main character dies in a movie. I freak out because there’s a potential reason to. I hate the adrenaline rush of things and so I brace myself and prepare for the worst. And that’s exactly what Manhattan did yesterday. Perhaps for instances like hurricanes or earthquakes, it is healthy to freak out. But as far as my life goes, it is not. The unnecessary stress before the bottom line is useless. And when is the bottom line? When is something ever really “over” enough to freak out about? Life is constantly changing. Constantly flowing. This hurricane taught me to freak out less because sometimes in the light of something terrible, something great happens.
Here’s hoping, NYC…
Kisses,
Jessica
