You were on my mind. Yeah, you were on my mind.
Dear Friends,
The song I’m quoting is by We Five, a one-hit wonder band of 1965. This was me and my mom’s song. We used to listen to it on K-EARTH 101.1, the Oldies station. I have the fondest memories of riding around in my mom’s silver Volvo station wagon with her, listening to Oldies. But especially this song. It was “our song.” It was the first experience I had had with “our song.” I love that idea. Music is so moving, and touches so many people. Why not connect to a special someone through it? This song is all about going through a hard time and struggling with an internal conflict, and then thinking of this one person, and having everything be OK. Or maybe everything is not OK, rather, it is what it is. “I woke up this morning, and I thought of you.” What could be more flattering than that? To be someone’s first thought of the day? This song is so powerful for me to this day because every morning when I wake up, my mother is on my mind.
Writing this book for/with her has been the most rewarding process there ever could be customized for me. I loved spending eight months of my life just focusing on hers, and my struggles to get to it. I enjoyed every minute of the decades-scavenger hunt I was on because it was the most natural thing I ever did in life. My book was the only thing I never thought twice about…except my move to New York. I’m the girl who has trouble picking a nail polish color for a mani-pedi, I never could have predicted that moving across the country would be a no-brainer for me.
Man, do I love it here. Words cannot explain how much more at ease I feel every day, and how things keep falling into my life in such powerful ways. I really feel at home in my Big Apple. A lesser known fact about apples that no one predicates to the Big Apple is that apples are sweet. And my life is sweeter by the day, each time I get closer and closer to the core of this city. Just like a relationship. You start nibbling away at a person, and pretty soon you’re at the core, and you get to know all of the intricate seeds and structure that supports this apple. Is it Gala, is it Pink Lady, is it Granny Smith? Plant the seeds somewhere deep in your heart, and see what grows. Nobody can lose by being that brave, someone very wise told me.
When I woke up this morning, my mom was on my mind. I went to breakfast with a male companion, and I sat down and “Jack and Diane” was playing. You know the tune by John Mellencamp. My mom loved this song – and her name was Dianne. Whenever it comes on, I know she’s there. I wanted to ask her what she thought of said male. I wanted to know if she was just saying hi, or was trying to prepare me or show me something further about my life and who’s in it. Not until recently did I get to my mother’s core, and now I’m just learning how to plant her seeds into my life.
My mom gave me so much: she taught me how to dance and groove to Oldies, how to write, how to dress, how to carry myself, and how to respect myself. But the most valuable lesson she could have ever taught me was how to love. Her love was sweeter than any apple, and one day, someday soon, hopefully I will get to the core of this Big Apple I’m living in, and feel her love radiating through someone else. And when I wake up that next morning…he will be on my mind. Cherish whoever is on your mind at dawn tomorrow. Chances are, they are irreplacable.
Kisses,
Jessica
