May Memorial

Dear Friends,

I haven’t written in so long. You must have thought I abandoned my own website. Or someone hacked into it who could care less about writing. I have been going through a lot of changes. Usually I don’t agree with the statement: change is good, but right now I do. There’s nothing like reflecting back to last Memorial day and being so happy it was a year ago. It’s kind of amazing what can happen in a year. But, as far as any change that comes about, I am always ponderous of the past. Choosing to be positive is one of the hardest things in the world for me, but you know what, I am going to do it. Why? Because if I don’t, then the world gets the best of me. And since my life mantra has been to ignore the crisis and rise above, I have to continue to do so.

It’s an odd thing when the person you want to see the least appears on your corner at 9am. Ghosts of the past. I used to date a guy who used to read these blog posts but I don’t believe this one from the corner does. That’s something that makes New York a very strange place. I could have crossed halfway through my block like I usually do, but no, I had to finish walking my block into the construction zone that I typically avoid and bump into the first mistake I made in 2012. Nothin like the first, right?

But it wasn’t so bad. I was actually in a good mood and wished him well. At least this Memorial day won’t be wrapped up in someone else’s bullshit.

I recently saw Death of A Salesman on Broadway, which was amazing for many reasons. But I think my favorite part of the play was that it has nothing to do with love. People are miserable in this show, heartbroken, torn apart, ripping at the seams, but love is not even secondary on their list of complaints. It’s because life is about more than love. Maybe I just realized that. Maybe I realized that at 9am this morning. Maybe I realized this last Memorial day but didn’t want to believe it. It sounds so Sex and the City but life ends up being more about the love you have for yourself because if you don’t have enough of it, you won’t let the right people love you. A plethora of wrong people show up on your corner but you can’t be bothered. You love yourself and know they are so young and so wrong.

This is something I learned since last Memorial day. So, watch your back, New Yorkers. You never know how wrong that person lurking at your corner could be in broad daylight. And you know how you can definitely spot the wrong person? He’s happy he’s in this blog. “Flattered” even.

Kisses,

Jessica

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