Dear Friends,
Recent experiences have led me to believe that girls and boys didn’t just stop getting along. They have never gotten along. Boys have always been more simple-minded; conflict minimalists that do not want to hash anything out for too long. Two 11-year-old boys taught me that this week. They were trying to help sort a problem out with their friends (who were girls) and they sounded so calm and sane, yet the girls were annoyed at their calmness. The girls wanted to thrive in the drama and live in it, providing only circular logic whereas the boys could call their next move with effortless ease. I wasn’t sure if the boys would ever get through to them and then I stopped and thought: could I be acting like these little girls sometimes? Do I just not want to be talked some sense into at times when I’m feeling out of control? Or are these 11-year-old boys truly more mature than the boys I date? Both could be true – and I’m shocked at the latter.
There is a level of caring that comes with being young. And I don’t mean young adult young, I mean grade school young. When did everyone stop being so sensitive? All the mean-spirited-ness that I’ve witnessed recently has been more of a joke than anything and the second one realizes they are hurting each other, they stop and try to make it better. The boys reach out to the girls or vice versa. And I am fascinated by this. Girls will always be quite mean to each other, but boys are almost born into a fraternity, where they constantly support each other and think whatever the other person does is “cool,” whether it’s a flip on a trampoline or an 80 second keg stand. I once did a 20 second keg stand but that’s neither here nor there.
I wish all of us could get in touch with our younger selves and remember what it’s like to be the last kid on the playground, or the only one in the pool, playing Marco Polo alone. Because somewhere along the way, people stopped caring whether to leave the nightlight on for you, so to speak. It’s harder to find someone who will hold your hand in the dark more than ever, and I just have to think: why is that? Were we more mature at 11 years old in some respects? Or were we just purer and less jaded? Holler if you feel me. I’m enjoying my childish vibes this week.
Kisses,
Jessica
