Dear Friends,
It’s raining outside. Like the sky is mad. I have no clue why the sky is so mad given that the two states I’ve spent the most time in are California and Colorado, and the sky is always shining and smiling there. Also has a close relationship to the sun I’ve heard before. I also have no idea why the sky is mad considering it’s April. Having never truly witnessed April showers, boy am I getting a taste of them now, in where else but New York.
I thought that things were shitty before. I mean, I moved across the country, started a new job, wrote a book, bought new stuff, and have moved apartments more times than I’d like to admit – all in under one year. Frankly, I’m bleepin’ exhausted. But it wasn’t until April that the thunderstorms really started coming. April and I have never really gotten along. Since its predominant zodiac sign is Aries, God of War, it’s no wonder that April brings full-fledged war and stress. This one has been a scorcher.
It’s almost like my life needs to be lubricated. That’s probably gross that I said that, but I at least need a film of Crisco to protect me from harsh things like thunderstorms, bad people, no foreseeable publishing deal, and tears. My mom used to tell me the sky rained because it was sad – it could feel your pain. Some of you may remember my blog post a couple of months ago about my Penny Friend. I ran into him last night. He’s worth less than a penny now – he’s worthless. He’s a bad person I’m not protected from, he’s my heart and soul following the opposite of its intuition, and a big heartbreak for me. Moreover, he proves me wrong. I thought he was somebody he’s not for many years of my life, and honestly, I could have used some PAM spray to shield me from the Tribeca Grand last night.
I’m sad for him. I’m sad for our friendship – all over again. The sky is too. I’m sad for the people who cannot take care of themselves well enough to shield and protect the people who mean the most to them – or should. I’m sad for the people that think light-heartedness is the key to happiness. God knows I’ve dated all of the guys who follow that principle. And mostly, I’m sad for the people, like my ex Penny Friend, who are incapable of understanding that all life needs sometimes is a little lube, just to lessen the blow. No pun intended.
Kisses,
Jessica
