Author Archives: jessica
Drama-ween
Dear Friends, As Halloween approaches me, I can’t help but be haunted by Halloweens past. For some reason, Halloween always is responsible for some sort of dramatic event in my life. It usually involves a boy and for whatever reason, being dressed up makes it all the more dramatic. I think the drama started my freshman year because it was the first time I got the “spins” from drinking. I remember laying in my Twin bed in my dorm thinking […]
Pest Control
Dear Friends, Have you ever hit a point in your life where you feel like you wish you were an exterminator? That’s right. You heard me. I wish I had never gone to journalism school and that I instead went to pest control school because then maybe I wouldn’t have mice and roaches in my $1,300 a month apartment in the city. WTF is up with that?! Also, knowing how to trap and kill pests might aid me in dating. […]
The Great 50
Dear Friends, I just saw my favorite movie of the year last night – 50/50. It’s a comedy about cancer, and the reason why it works despite the morbid undertones is that the screenwriter based it off of his life. He experienced a cancer scare, and learned to be stronger because of it. He managed to depict a flawless range of emotions one would feel, and how they would all play out in a daily routine – you must eat, […]
The Barbie Room
Dear Friends, My Barbie Room was the best part of my childhood. Inside this room, on Barbie Lane, everything was perfect. No one had cancer and no one was dying. Kens were monogamists – even though there were only three of them, and there were big Barbie families – the smallest one had three children. The families took turns living in the neon pink dream house. They took turns being doctors, lawyers and models. They took turns loving each other. […]
This One’s For You
Dear Friends, Today I remember my mother. She has been gone for twelve years today and it still feels like yesterday that I was sitting in my algebra class, and felt my heart sink at 2:42pm. I knew she was gone. I felt her leave the Earth – like so many loved ones report feeling. You know when loved ones are departing, or when they are in danger, or at worst, dead. I have devoted the past two years of […]
The Old College Try
Dear Friends, When is the college try going to go out of style? Let’s recap from the urban dictionary for those of you who aren’t familiar with lazy, easily discouraged people/majors/projects that mimic that of a college student’s intent. College Try: Giving something your best shot, even if you aren’t sure how to do it. Attempting the “old college try” always results in uncontrolled rage and frustration rather than learning. This condition is only augmented by trying to find help […]
Flood of Emotion
Dear Friends, I lived through the first (I think?) NYC hurricane. At first, I wasn’t bothered by it. I thought, hurricane on Madison Avenue? Come on, now. Who cares. Mellow out. But half of Manhattan closed up, boarded up and was sealed to the eye of the storm. There’s something about seasonal meltdowns that cause me my own flood of emotions. I’m sure it will get worse tomorrow, as I’ll be “Castaway” in my own tiny apartment especially made for […]
Meaningful Nothings
Dear Friends, You know what’s a better description for the word, coincidence? Meaningful nothings. That’s what they are. Coincidence sounds so scientific. I get the essence of the word – coincide – a coincidence is when two otherwise unrelated things align in an odd occurrence of solidarity. They are little messages from the universe saying, “Hey, what’s up guys – here I am!” Sometimes it’s a way of people from beyond giving us living people a message, I like to […]
The Panic Button
Dear Friends, I just had my first walking through lower Manhattan meltdown. It was a good one too. For some reason, on a Monday there were tons of people out and everyone seemed to be looking me straight in the eye. All those dark, enigmatic streets you hear about in crime stories dissipated into over-lit scaffolding and well-lit corners. Must have been Guiliani. I had gotten a goodbye text from someone who should have been superlatively unimportant in my life, […]
Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
Dear Friends, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” my mother used to say. This is an expression I never really understood until like, yesterday, because I don’t own a basket, nor do I pick my own eggs, and also, I’m Jewish, so I always kind of thought this was a taboo Easter reference. I guess it’s not. Would you like to know what this catch-phrase means? It has withstood centuries. I bet Abe Lincoln used to say it […]
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