Originally published in the Denver Post [source]
On Sunday, couples will celebrate Valentine’s Day with cards, flowers, sweets and intimate dates.
Singles will bide their time till Monday.
The highly publicized day for sweethearts can cause a self-esteem blow to those who are unattached.
While some try to avoid it or revel in “Single Awareness Day” activities instead, the best way to deal with it is to learn how to romance yourself, relationship experts say.
“I remember when I made the internal decision that my happiness did not rely on whether I was in a relationship,” said Catherine Cardinal, a relationship coach and author of “A Cure for the Common Life.”
“Eventually after much trial and error, I did find a great guy. But that was after I anchored the concept that with or without a relationship, I can enjoy my birthday, Christmas, Fourth of July and, yes, even Valentine’s Day.”
Avoid first dates or blind dates on Valentine’s Day because expectations are too high, said Tony Jurich, a Kansas State University family studies and human services professor. Instead, spend time with other singles, making light of the holiday, Jurich said.
“Go out dancing or something if you need to ignore the gravity of the holiday,” agrees Jessica Barraco, 22, who endured a breakup on Valentine’s Day.
“If your relationship can fall to pieces on that of all days, you learn that Valentine’s Day really is just another day,” she said.
Etiquette trainer Diane Gottsman said even those in a relationship or married can be blindsided by the holiday. Many of her male clients tell her they worry about disappointing their partners, while others think the holiday is just another attack on their wallet so soon after another major spending holiday, Christmas.
Often, just spending time together enjoying simple pleasures is what cements a relationship, rather than all the holiday hoopla.
“I just want to go for a long walk with my wife,” said Neil Gussman, 56, a National Guardsman who returned in January from Iraq. There, he said, military units immerse themselves in work to avoid loneliness during all holidays.
Use the holiday to celebrate relationships with family, friends and yourself, recommends Lane Neubauer, a counseling psychologist at La Salle University in Philadelphia.
“Spend time with other kinds of significant others, and that will take some of the pressure off,” Neubauer said.
Dorothy Hunt of Colorado Springs will be spending Valentine’s having dinner with her 15-year-old son. “He’s my special man,” she says, “but in a different sense.”
Sheba R. Wheeler: 303-954-1283 orswheeler@denverpost.com
Read more:Singles: Don’t mope on Valentine’s Day – The Denver Posthttp://www.denverpost.com/style/ci_14377171?source=pop_section_style#ixzz1BPPXgcH8
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